Dear Future Husband,

I know that the writing of this letter is a little on the odd side, but if you are my future husband then you have already come to know me as a little odd so it should come as no surprise. This weekend while I was working my little (but growing) tail off, I was thinking about our life together, and what it might look like. As I raked each oak leaf off the front lawn, my mind drifted to a time and place that this type of physical lawn labor would no longer be necessary and I could be inside making dinner for the family instead. Not that I don't enjoy outside work, because I do, I simply don't want to have no say in the matter. It must be done, and I am the only one that will do it. Of course, as I am breaking my back in the hot sun, the children are inside in a cool house, having their way with their own mess inside. When I break for the day, I am sure to walk into a new mess indoors and I will inevitably be frustrated with their lack of participation in our "teamwork" oriented family.

My dear love, when I picture our life together I have to be honest; I plan on slowing down. Yes, I am handy- I can install and fix toilets, sinks and faucets, know my way around electrical work, can mow a lawn and pull weeds, clean the garage like a mad woman, along with the other typical household chores of laundry (which I despise), cleaning of floors (over and over again), dishes, dusting, cooking and cleaning... Yes dear, I can do it all, and have been doing it all for quite some time. However, in our wedded bliss I plan on retiring certain duties. I will no longer plunge any toilets (unless it's an emergency), clean out the gutters, fix the aging fence, play mechanic on my vehicle, or rake millions of tiny oak leaves that lay stubbornly amidst the sand (that should be grass). I am not saying that you have to take over the physical labor of all of these duties, but you will be responsible for making sure they get done by someone, hired or not. I plan on contracting out the laundry and a monthly deep cleaning of the house.

I will cook more than I do now, and spend more time with my kids (oh and you of course). I'll work during the day, and greet my tired children when they step off the school bus with cookies and milk.... Alright, so maybe that's pushing it a bit. But please know that when I do slow down, that I've been working triple time and need to rest so I don't die an early death from exhaustion.

Good Food First....

When both my children were in Preschool, their teacher, Miss Shawnie had a lunchtime rule- Good food first. What that meant was eat the healthy things first, like the sandwich, fruits, or other snacks with nutritional substance. I can only imagine as a preschool teacher that seeing a lunch box full of sugary foods was a bit frightening. After all, we all know what sugar does to those with little to no self control. This rule came to mind today as I was mentally planning springtime activities and schedules that will soon erupt into full swing here in the next few weeks. I pictured God as my teacher, looking at my calender as my lunch box, reminding me to eat the good food first, keeping Him at the center of my schedule and heart. It's tempting to let the commercialism of Easter skew our thoughts and focus, getting easily wrapped up in the rush to buy the the biggest basket, wear the best outfit, and eat as though there was no tomorrow. God asks us to eat our "good food first" with Him- start and end our day with Him, read His words and take time out and listen to Him. It's amazing how clear our day becomes when we keep Him at the center of it. Just imagine what our lenten season could look and feel like, if in every detail we put Him first!

Who I am is Irrelevant.....

Seeing the world through my eyes is a bit odd, I am acutely aware of that. Discovering who I am, who I have accepted myself as, and who God desires me to be has been a journey of strange twists and turns leaving even the most intelligent of people confused. The stories I tend to share are somewhat off the wall, and usually pretty light. I enjoy laughing, being laughed at, and making others laugh. I sacrifice my pride daily for the sake of hearing joy manifest itself into uncontrollable fits of snorting, tearful laughter. So, follow me for a minute as I share with you a bit of self discovery beyond my typical anecdotes.

The past six months have been more than a little difficult due to finances, health, and just straight depression. I sink into these pits occasionally and over time I have learned how to maneuver my way out of them. As a faithful believer in my Lord, I know that ultimately His hands are working in my life to make all things new. That does not mean all things will go my way, and I will get everything I want. But when God goes silent and asks me to still see Him, I struggle. On occasion, in the midst of walking in the dark stumbling over life's bumps I sit down, curl up in the fetal position and surrender to my weakness in a river of tears and snot (I can't help it, I know you're laughing right now). Though I was fighting to never get back there again, I found myself in the River of Quitters again last week. When my children heard me crying and inquired as to why, I poked my head above the tears and simply told them, the world feels bigger than me right now. As I waded through the RoQ, trying to regain my footing on solid ground, I had a very bold and direct conversation with my own Knight in Shining Armour - God.

I asked him point blank, for the final answer, "What do you want me to do on this earth?". Imagine a lifetime full of pain and struggle trying to find the answers to what my purpose on this earth is only to discover one thing, that who I am, as we normally refer to ourselves, is irrelevant. Everything about what I am is irrelevant. My pain is insignificant. My talents are inapplicable. My words are empty. My hands and feet are useless. My heart is numb and my mind is adrift. (The latter of which most of us knew anyway.) Not to worry, there is hope for us all because above all of those things, I AM HIS, and that is the only thing about me that is relevant. I love the way the Lord places our lives together like pieces of a puzzle, because as I reflected on this, I opened up a file I had written years ago about this exact subject. The image you see attached here is that document. I had clearly defined what it meant to me to be HIS. At the point in my life when I needed answers, He faithfully delivered them to me AGAIN. I AM HIS, and beyond that, nothing else matters! IN HIM, I AM a daughter, a servant, a princess, a lamb, a bride, and a friend.

If you could please help in the future should I, or any other loved one fall in the River of Quitters again, help us get out of the RoQ, and onto the ROCK by reminding us lovingly that we are irrelevant!

Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You......

Brad Mayfield “In this tough economic market what can our government really do to help there own?”

It is my opinion that the government helped us get into this mess, and it is the government that needs to help get us out of it. However, they are not the only culprits- we the people are just as guilty.

As we moved out of the dot.com fallout, investors began dumping their money into real estate (and oil, but that’s another story). At the same time, interest rates on home mortgages dropped to record lows. Add to that mix, predatory lending by both big banks, and greedy mortgage brokers. Finishing off the recipe for disaster were glutinous Americans feeding off the temptation troth of having the biggest and the best of everything they could get their hands on, even if it meant living way beyond their means. The final straw- Alan Greenspan playing financial God raising interest rates knowing full well the impact it would have on homeowners across the country. The government set us up for disaster. From beginning to end, the problems that we are dealing with today are direct result of one thing. GREED. So, how does a government full of greedy politicians working for greedy lobbyists competing for the money of greedy American’s fix itself? Good question; but I believe we need to start with common sense.

The great John F. Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do, but what YOU can do for your country.” And though that was applicable for the time, it is not any more. Today, we need to act with the motto “what can we do for each other?” If at this point you are expecting President Obama to swoop in with a magic wand and solve the domestic issues we are facing, you are in for a huge disappointment. I like to think of the President as the lead singer in a band. He is nothing without his musicians, but is without a doubt the voice and spokesperson for the band. And what is a concert with no audience? As a performer myself, I can attest to the energy that we feed off from an active and participating audience, the American people being the audience in this scenario. Unfortunately, most Americans are so focused on the one leader they have neglected to pay attention to those at the local and state level (the musicians). Voter turnout during our state and local elections not attached to presidential election is poor and in my opinion, a disgrace to our democratic society. Basically, they don’t show up for the concert but complain about the performance.

To conclude, if you want to see the economy fixed, the change begins with you. It is US that drives the economy, and US the weakens it. Yes, the government plays a part, no one is denying their contribution. But, it is up to all of us to fix it. How? Volunteer. Pay attention to your children. Make sacrifices. Stop bitching and complaining. Take your family out to dinner once a week, and cut back on beer and wine. Downsize the size of your home. Pay better attention to recycling efforts. Don’t over medicate. Put down the cell phone and pay attention to those around you. Love your spouse. Care for your parents. Take responsibility for your actions, and inactions. Then watch the world change. Until then, watch the demise globally- it’s partly your fault.

Addie Owens-Donovan

Conditioning the Mind, Training the Body, and Offering the Heart

Peter McGowan of California asks, “Is trust earned, or is it given?”:


An infant at its first breath will instinctively nurse from the breast of its mother. In the most natural of moments this is trust in the purest form- lying in the arms of your mother nestled in a blanket of security intricately woven with fibers of love. With no prior experiences to give, or earn trust, it is simply present as a byproduct of a fortified bond. Later in life that the same child will flinch at the raise of a hand, the sound of that certain draw slamming shut in the kitchen, or the tone of an angry mother’s thunderous demand for obedience. Yet trust persists- as the mother will also feed, nurture, care for, discipline and continue to love irregardless of faults or missteps.

Over the course of our lives we have allowed our minds to be conditioned to distrust people in our lives because we have misunderstood what trust is and how it develops. It’s part of the hardened heart syndrome that is rapidly devouring the innocent. Our bodies are then trained to react in a mistrusting manner with controlling behavior, withdrawal, depression, insecurity, aggressiveness, and sometimes complete isolation. Relationships across the board suffer significant wounds over time often resulting in the severing of bonds that were intended eternal. It is important to understand the only way true mistrust can occur is through a violation of a previously established trusting relationship.

In order for trust or mistrust to be present, a relationship must have first been established. In terms of our relationship with God, the presence of trust does not exist until we have bonded with Him through time, healing, acceptance and servitude. If we arbitrarily decide to give, or declare someone worthy of receiving trust, it is no different than building a house on sand rather than rock (see Mt 7; 21-27). In the husband, wife relationship, if trust is given, then it can also be taken away. This creates an environment that perpetuates a cycle of mistrust, counteracting the initial offering of trust. I’ve often heard people say that trust between and husband and wife is different than that of a parent and child. In all actuality it is only the way in which it formed that differs.

So Peter, my opinion, derived by trial and error, research and experience, that trust is not given, nor is it earned. Trust is bred, developed, simmered, and produced as a byproduct of a fortified and nurtured bond. Regretfully however, I am forced to offer a plea of guilty in the charge of buying into the misconceptions of trust. Lucky for me, I have a forgiving God who has offered me a plea bargain. He will recondition my mind, and help me retrain my body provided I continue to offer Him my heart.

Addie Owens-Donovan
Author

Depression Oppresses

Day ONE of my great writing challenge greeted me with a heavy topic, but one I felt compelled to tackle first... The person that suggested the topic chooses to stay annonymous. So here it goes:

Depression Oppresses

A depressed person,
Can see the sunshine, but only feels the rain.
Makes the to-do list, but feels incapable of getting it done.

Sees laughter, but hears only the loud screeching noise.
Lies in their bed, but wants desperately to run.

A depressed person,
Can see the light, but is swallowed by darkness.
Is lost, but wants to be found.

Needs love, but shuns comfort from others.
Needs tenderness, but cannot stand the touch.

A depressed person,
Is a capable and worthy individual, but is oppressed by self loathing.
Is in a constant state of battle; waging war within.

Teeters between life and death,
And looks just like you or me.

If you want to help a depressed person,
Be a constant presence.
Sit with them when they say “go away”.
Eat with them when they say “I’m not hungry”.
Make them laugh, when they say “I hurt”.
Walk with them, when they say “I’m too tired”.
Be a beacon of light, in their world of darkness.

Topic Suggestions

You all (y'all for those of you in the south) have given me great topics to work with! I'm so excited to start writing... Check back in the morning, for day one!!! I'm getting back to work on Chapter Three of the bible study, Walking Barefoot that I am writing, and then it's on to Monday morning's challenge!!

Looking for Topics!

Who will be the first to send me a new topic?