On the lighter side... The Clawless Killer Cat...

As a Real Estate Appraiser, I have seen alot! I have inspected crack houses where a majority of the inhabitants were rodents and roaches. I've seen rooms with gaping holes in the floors, ceilings and walls with feces spread around the bathroom, and meth cooking in the kitchen like dinner, dishes not done, uh, EVER! That is only the begining of some of the most disturbing experiences to date! But today takes the cake! At least with those just mentioned, I was mearly passing through momentarily and on my way back to my comfy little car! NOT TODAY!
I had committed to doing an open house this afternoon for a fellow Realtor in my office. Servicing a listing for another agent is a great way to build your client list of buyers, and it helps the owners feel that someone is doing something to sell their cute little house on the pond! So, I walk into the home, where I have been to previously and am greeted by the cat. Not just any old cat. A cat with a HUGE attitude. He is pearched on the couch that acts as a partitian wall between the entry and living room, and he is hissing at me. As I step closer to him, the cat bats at me repeatedly. He proceeds to sit into his hind legs as though he is going to launch!!! I did not even know how to react! I mean really, it's just a freakin cat! I back up, call the listing agent and explain to him that I would love to do the open house, but the cat has prevented me from entering the home. He offers to call the owners for me, and I retreat like a beaten human back to my car and wait.
The agent calls me back, and explains that the homeowner says the cat sometimes 'acts like this, don't worry, the cat has no claws, just ignore him and he will go away'......uh, huh...okay. So, I build up some new nerve and decide that "NO cat is going to stop me from doing MY JOB!"... yah. So, I burst through the door (quietly hoping he has moved on to a different part of the house), and realize he is laying in wait for the intruder to come back. I shield myself with my laptop, and have my handbag at the ready to ward off the beast!
I run past the cat (in heals, carrying a laptop, purse, and diet coke, keys, cell phone, etc) and try to get to the kitchen. The killer cat chases me through the house and corners me on the couch in the living room. At this point all I have left in my hand is my purse, which I am swinging through the air, and cussing at the cat violently, trying to get him to go away (very much like my exhusband!)! I am finally able to manouver off the couch, contents of purse still intact, and look for other objects I might hurl at him should he decide he really DOES want to eat me! I am able to get to the kitchen, back to the safety of a phone to call 911 if need be. There we stood in a stand off. Me, newly armed with a large book, and my purse, and him with his back looking like the St. Louis Arch, hair on ends still hissing and growling (yes, cats GROWL!). I'm staring him down telling him to go in the other room, as if he will really listen! We're standing there for about a minute - feels like eternity - and I begin to wonder if it's all worth it. One of us might just die if the other is not careful! Finally the weakest of the two goes into the master bedroom, and hides under the bed. Gracefully, I tiptoe behind him and close the door, locking him in with no food, water, or litterbox. Oh, poor cat. As if I really have any pity for the bad little kitty.
Here I sit. In a dark house, that I am trying to sell, on a rainy day, with a clawless killer cat in the master bedroom, that now I can't show.
Yah, just ignore him and he'll go away... And the owners wonder why they haven't sold their house yet.....